If I die . ..

Wife: “Would you get a girlfriend again if I died?” Husband: “Of course not.” Wife: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?” Husband: “Ok, I would marry again.” (annoyed) Wife: “Oh…” (sad) Husband: -silence- Wife: “Would you live in our house?” Husband: “Sure, it’s a great house.” Wife: “Would you two sleep in our bed?” [...]

Genies and Managers

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. The genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving [...]

New Speeding Rules

After issues with my boys school cell phone rules – I wrote this . .. New rules of Speeding Speeding is now allowed depending on the following rules. First and foremost vehicles should be used to transport people safely, so speeding should not be done when not safe. Speeding will be monitored by individual RCMP [...]

Canadian Imposter Alert

As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement – and then carefully note their reaction: “Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey [...]

Beer Festival

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the “worlds best beer” a Corona The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him The guy from Budweiser says, [...]